The Love That Is True

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She knows me better than anyone in my life. You have to completely reveal yourself, unafraid. You are unafraid because your goal is love and love requires complete acceptance. It may not be convenient or even practical -- it could be messy. It may even be tumultuous If you have a list of criteria which is fine , then true love is not your priority, it is hopefully a side benefit -- but it was not your priority.

Especially that bit about the list. I used to have a list a looooooooooooooong list and eventually as I get older and wiser, it was getting shorter and shorter There seems to be a rash of There seems to be a rash of "true love" articles coming out, I guess its getting close to Valentines Day.

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It's called chivalry. Taking apiece of what is sacred to you and enrich another's life without any need for remuneration. The joy is in the doing. Thank you for your wise comments.

See my ebook, Heroic. It will make you feel even more validated.

16 Characteristics of Real Love

I, like Goombalo, have thought I've found it: when I met the man 1 I truly wanted just love, as I was rather self-sufficient emotionally, financially and spiritually. We were not compatible in traditional ways well, can I even say I really know what compatibility is? We jumped in. Not all of the above indicators were present not the one of synergy, nor the quickened but we fell in love and went for it It did eventually felt like "home" and we had a good relationship that lasted about Many hardships survived well, but we likely scarred and could not agree on direction in life nor how to solve current feelings of staleness.

Enter a man 2, as a huge surprise, with whom I somehow felt that he may be the one but as I've known him for quite some time before the surprise occurred, it is hard to truly distinguish between a need to fill in gaps and true potential. Also enters doubt, fear and sense of tender love and care towards 1. Still trying to resolve it all, but am still rather confused. We me and 1 luckily do not have children nor common material objects of large scale, only bleeding hearts. All I can do now is reflect deeply and try to find the answer within.

Or - talk with Dr. Randi, which I do plan to do. Thank you for this insightful article, it does help me get closer. I have been enjoying reading many of your other articles that do offer so much more insights than typical online quick-fixes. I've answered within your text. Thank you so much for your support. I had a different experience, I met my bf when we were young and I didn't know who I was or what I wanted - other than I wanted a bf. Long story short he was crazy about me and I was on the positive side of neutral about him, but I really enjoyed just being in a relationship.

Over time my love for him grew and he is now my close companion after 11 years. A lot of the time I feel like I've never experienced true love though, but maybe I just skipped over the sparks flying part and went into a slow burning love instead, which is what seems to happen in long-term relationships. Does anyone have thoughts on this? Any similar experiences? I have doubts about the relationship bc I never felt sparks fly, and wonder maybe I just don't know what I'm missing.

When the sparks are there in the beginning, they don't always last. When they are real, they come back with the right triggers. Joyous, growing, deep friendship and trust last forever.


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Sparks can be transformed into treasuring in a gentle, underlying way. A best friend can be a good-enough lover. A lover who doesn't know chivalry and sacrifice can never be a true friend. You could have sparks with another, if you were willing to give up what you have.


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People can love more than one person and in different ways. If your need for sparks grows, you may find that what you have isn't enough, but many people who seek that regret their decisions later. There are many sparkers, but not many true, caring, devoted people in the world.

What is True Love?

It's important that you are free to talk to your partner about your needs. Sparks can come in many forms. Hope that helps. Please read my ebook, HeroicLove. That will explain this more deeply. I've written many articles for PT that you can also access. Back in the day when our parents met one another just like all of our family members did when real true love came very easy for them at that time which today for many of us it is very difficult unfortunately.

How do you really know when you’ve found true love?

Dear Very Truth, Thank you so much for your comment. Yes, even with all the media hype and availability of contact, I do believe that it is harder now. Please look up my ebook, Heroic Love. It is what I've learned in four decades of helping people to find it still. Sincerely, Randi. Years ago love did come very easy since the women back then were quite different than today which made it very easy for the men in those days really looking for it.

What Is True Love?

Women unfortunately have really changed today since most of them are very picky now, especially most women are very independent making their six figure income that they never even heard of years ago. So today with many of us single men looking for love which it is like trying to hit the lottery which it is the kind of women that we have out there now making it a real challenge for us unfortunately. Since it really does take two to tango which will make it even more difficult for us men since it will be very hard to have a woman that can Accept us for who we really are.

And nowadays most single women are looking for a Rich Man and just Can't Accept us good men that make less money unfortunately. Thank you for your comment. Seems not too long ago that women were so distressed because men only wanted beautiful women, rather than good women. Options come from so many things like age, income, health, sexual desirability, interpersonal skills, the percentage of men to women in any one area, etc. I'm so sorry you haven't found someone to appreciate you but I get as many comments from women wondering why they can't find decent men who can love them for who they are.

I wish you the best, sincerely, Randi. Well i know that i made my comment about six weeks ago which what i have really said is the very truth. And i am going to add more truth to my comment since as you can see, it is the women of today that have really changed for the worst of all unfortunately.

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And now you have so many of these women that don't have any respect at all with a very rotten personality to go along with it too. God forbid for many of us men trying to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet, and most of the time they will be very nasty to us men and walk away as well.

And the ones that will try to be nice will say to us, please don't bother me because i am in a hurry.

Spandau Ballet - True (Lyrics)

Well at least she said please which really shocked the hell out of me.