Your True Needs

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If we had a switch that could turn off the everyday self and turn on the true self, matters would be much simpler. But human nature is often divided. There are moments when you feel secure, accepted, peaceful, and certain. At those moments you may well be experiencing the true self.

Deadly charms

At other moments you experience the opposite, and then you are potentially in the grip of something else, or perhaps what gets referred to often as the ego-self. The trouble is that both sides are convincing. When you feel overwhelmed by stress, crisis, doubts, and insecurity, the true self might as well not exist. You are experiencing a different reality coloured by your feelings and the state of your mind.

At those dark, tough moments, aim to get some outside perspective about what is happening. Dissociate from the current perspective and watch yourself and your life from an objective stance inside your mind. The qualities of the everyday self and the true self are typically described as being very different:. The everyday self gets influenced by countless outside influences, leading to confusion.

The everyday self shifts constantly. The everyday self is easily agitated and disturbed. The everyday self, often lacking the same sort of love, seeks it from outside sources. Have a look at the typical qualities associated with the true self: self-reliant, evolutionary, loving, creative, knowing, accepting, and peaceful…. Whenever anyone is in crisis, whether the problem is a troubled marriage, difficulties at work or over money, that person will be more likely to make the best decisions if they utilise these qualities. Sadly, we are often driven by selfishness, panic, uncertainty, impulsiveness, survival instincts, and other qualities associated with the ego-self.

Many measure their worth by achievements and possessions. Money and status feed the ego, and society rewards those who play the game of getting and spending with skill and drive. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.

Once you begin to recognise and encourage the qualities of the true self, your life will begin to change. You challenge yourself to meet new goals. Here is a great article about discovering your purpose.


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What Is Your Life Purpose? Those who know me, know that I am not religious, in fact I am atheist.

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Free from Lies: Discovering Your True Needs by Alice Miller

That does not mean I am a spirituality vacuum. Many problems have a spiritual solution, not because every prayer is answered by a higher power but because the true self, once discovered, is a source of creativity, intelligence, and personal growth. Miller goes even further, presenting groundbreaking theories that enhance communication between therapist and patient and enable adults to express powerful emotions that have been trapped for years.

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German title: Dein gerettetes Leben ca. Alice Miller. Sold to English world rights W. The actual pain point is that the person wants to stop their leg from bleeding. Understanding that as the pain point, the marketing of the solution becomes very different.

The idea of “one true calling” is a romanticized lie

The solution could still be a bandage, but it would be one that tightly pulls together the wound to stop the bleeding. It would be a bandage that sticks to skin even if the skin is wet with sweat. The new solution could also be medical glue that will stop the bleeding immediately. In this quote, the pain point has nothing to do with horses or cars.

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The pain point is that people want to get from one place to another quickly and efficiently. But people see the only solution to that being faster horses. If you understand the underlying pain points your customers have, your approach to innovation completely changes. The way you speak to your audience changes. So they ask for a solution. One way to get at customer pain points is to ask open-ended questions and follow up.

Cant Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli and The 4 Seasons + lyrics

Ask them what they want the drill bit for. A quantitative, data-driven way to identify pain points is to look at data on your website and the websites of competitors.

What types of content and topics do they gravitate toward? Do they consistently show interest in certain topics over others? Dive into why that may be. Pain points can be measured en masse this way, identifying many of the main pain points your audience has.